Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Say what you need to Say



Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so-called problems,
Better put 'em in quotations

Say what you need to say [x8]

Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you'd be better off instead,
If you could only . . .

Say what you need to say [x8]

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You'd better know that in the end
Its better to say too much
Then never say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say [x24]

John Mayer

Sunday, April 18, 2010

The Value of Time

Every Sunday, I get an E-mail from Rabbi Kalman Packouz (Aish.com) on insights to life, personal growth, and the Torah. I love this E-mail because there is always great advice and sayings from famous Rabbis of the past, and there's usually a very clear interpretation of what we're reading in the Torah each week. Its silly, but I also like the way each E-mail starts with, "GOOD MORNING!" I usually wake up on Sundays feeling a little dull because I know I have 8-10 hours of studying ahead of me, but when I read that "GOOD MORNING!" I really do feel like its going to be a good morning- it just makes me smile.

Anyway- to the point-

Today's E-mail was about the value of time. Rabbi says, "The Torah teaches us to value time. Every moment is precious. Every moment a person can do good, perfect his character, make the world a better place. The Almighty gives us a limited amount of time and it is up to us to make the most of it."

Then he included this quote by anonymous:

"Imagine there is a bank that credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day. Every evening deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day. What would you do? Draw out every cent, of course!

"Each of us has such a bank. Its name is TIME. Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day. If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours. There is no going back. There is no drawing against the "tomorrow." You must live in the present on today's deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness and success! The clock is running. Make the most of today!"

I read something similar to this in the Tibetan Book of Living in Dying- about the value of time. This prompted me to think about my propensity towards distraction, sometimes visiting addicting websites like facebook instead of studying. It all starts with a break- thinking that I have studied for a good 1-2hrs, and now I need a short 10-minute breather before I move on. So I visit facebook and then 30 MINUTES LATER I realize that I am way distracted and off track! Then I think about the idea of using each second to the fullest, and I try to restart my studying engine. It is harder to get back on track after visiting distracting websites- you have to buckle down and get in the study mode again, which takes up valuable time. Instead of being angry at myself for falling victim to the internet, I just need to think, "OK, this world is distracting, and for a moment I allowed myself to get off track, but now I am going to click that red dot at the upper left hand corner of the browser window and get back to work." Sure, I am allowed to have breaks, but that's what stretching, JAMA, and going outside is for. Oh I guess I need to eat, sleep shower, and exercise, too right? Can't forget about that stuff or I am guessing I will have to worry about others being angry at me even more than me being angry at me :)

Hope you can take something from the quotes about time that I pasted above, and feel free to share anything in the comments about your efforts to live each second to the fullest. Thanks for reading.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Rotations!

We got our 3rd year rotations schedule yesterday. Got my 3rd choice, so I can't complain. I still have to work out a few kinks, but thats what is great about the bay area traveling schedule- very flexible from what I have seen thus far.

General Surgery - San Pablo
OMM/NMM - Eureka
Pediatrics - Hopefully Eureka
Ob/Gyn - ARMC in Colton
General Surgery - San Pablo
Elective TBD
Psychiatry - Stockton
Family Medicine - San Pablo
Internal Medicine - San Pablo
Family Medicine - Glenn Cove

Wednesday, April 7, 2010


Once, when I was still a student, your heart leapt up to meet me
and thrilled against my palm. I'd read about this
but never guessed how it would feel like a kiss,
like a hummingbird beating against the cage of your ribs.
Rheumatic fever, 14 years old. Congestive heart failure.
You were not my only, but you were my first, and Moses
I want you to know: part of me is still standing there,
my hand on your heart like a promise
your name in my throat like a stone.
I scribbled that you were "decompensating"
-because we never say patients are dying,
because we are cowards, because
we are human, because
all of our hearts betray us.

Sarah Leeper
JAMA April 7, 2010

Sunday, April 4, 2010



Cytomegalovirus. This is the coolest virus because A) It has "mega" in its name B) Its watching you.... with its owl eyes :) C) It remains asymptomatic in 80% of the population, so it infects with out you ever even knowing its there and then stays for life to cause problems later on. Ah, viruses, the cause of mucho anguish and controversy!